I’m tired of not being caring. I’m sick of my inability to understand. I really want to be the kind of person who is empathetic and keeps on showing unconditional love, but somehow my actions always seem to communicate the exact opposite. I’m pretty annoyed at myself for making people believe that a relationship with them has a lesser priority to me than running my big mouth. I want to do better. But, you know what? I’m still not very good at being smart with what I say.
I’m tired of “helping” people who don’t need my help. I guess when I really think about it, I know my assistance often does more damage than good. Heck, look what I’ve done with my life, folks! But, it’s still pretty difficult to see problems in the world that I’m not able to do anything about.
It makes me mad when I come across like I’m some kind of nice guy who just has all this bad stuff happen to me. It’s not true. I can help it. It makes me want to sock me in the nose. I know other people have problems; but, — for heaven’s sake! — so do I! And, it’s nobody’s fault but my own if I really am so insecure about my own worth that I feel the need to put down other people for putting others down. If I’m going to call myself a Christian, I don’t have any choice but to try not to feel like a hopeless failure as a friend. But, man! Why do I have to make it so hard?
But, even so… I’m TOTALLY looking forward to Christmas tomorrow. And, it’s going to take a lot more than my own hard-headed/hearted-ness to ruin OUR family’s holidays. So, all you Grinches and Scrooges out there (including that most unpleasant side of me!) that think you can take OUR Christmas spirit, prepare to drown in a torrent of carols, take a candy-cane in the eye, or otherwise go up in some other awesome blaze of peace and good-will!